Johnny T

San Francisco

2007-07-20T01:18:30Z

July 19th 2007

It has been Forever sense I updated last. and so much has changed. I, like it seems a lot of people are in the process of or already have, moved. I now live in one of the most socially progressive, globally conscious, city that is constantly the forefront for major technological, social and political advances. Yes, I am now a proud citizen of San Francisco. You wouldn't believe how much history there is here if you just look. Like Civic Center Plaza is also United Nations plaza where in the mid 1940's In the heart of Downtown San Francisco the Worlds leaders met there and started what is now the largest global community. Its pretty Amazing. Im going to take this time to brag a little bit about where I live...Russian Hill, Downtown up the street from the capital building (city hall) and if you haven't seen it Google it. It really does look like the Capital building. and at night the dome is lit up so beautiful. My neighborhood is Fantastic, From the roof there's a full view of the Golden Gate Bridge, there is a really good French Bakery just across the street, a Wallgreens two blocks away. a gym across the street. a pizza place one block away, movie theater just a few blocks down on Van Ness. Pier 39 and the Warf and water is only about nine blocks down. And of course a Starbucks where I frequently see and have even had a full conversation with Mayor Gavin Newsom. (for those of you who don't know he's pretty much my hero) and he's truly a really nice guy come to learn he lives just two blocks up from me.
I quit my job at Audi
I quit work at the Discovery Bay Yacht Club
I am unemployed and its a really nice vacation.
My interests have also changed sense the last time I posted. It has been over a year. Where do I start? Im a very political person, In fact Politics and current events have become a passion of mine. I plan on volunteering with the re-elect Newsom campaign next month. Although I don't think he needs any help with a 75% approval rating. In national politics I am happy with the top 3 democratic candidates although I do strongly believe that Hillary Clinton would be best for this country right now. I get a lot of crap for supporting her but I have good reason, and if you're up for a debate just let me know. And if you want to know why I think Hillary would be best contact me and I'll give you a list, just know that I would be okay if Obama or Edwards got the nomination. We need Universal health care, we need to get out of the Civil war in Iraq and focus on protecting our homeland, and we need to dramatically fix our image in the world, right now we're the rotting garlic thats leaving a grotesque taste in the mouth of the world. And I honestly believe that a President like Hillary Clinton with a roaming ambassador like Bill Clinton who already is in good standing with the world leaders can be our saving breath mint. I would love to see a Clinton/Obama ticket, or Clinton/Edwards. Anyway that is the end of my Political rant. Im sure there will be more to come....
School is going good, slow at times but good.
starting to like life a little more than the past few years.
Mikey and I got a kitten. the cutest kitty in the world.
Going on a cruise in a few weeks.
Vodka and Cran-Cherry is my favorite drink.
Im trying to develop a taste for Scotch (Johnny Walker is the only way to go...and its free!)
I want to read the new Harry Potter book/ and I want them to fix the new IPhone so I can buy one.
hmm...It makes me smile to know what Tony Bennett really meant when he said "I left my Heart in San Francisco"

Its been a long long time...

2007-07-17T20:41:46Z

Update is coming soon....watch for it....

Its livejournal time

2006-02-25T18:37:33Z

Yes I think its time again, actually, its past due for an update I guess. Christmas has come and gone 2 months ago. and its now almost into the third month of 2006. Both a lot and a little has changed. Brand new classes. Hard classes. Pushing the limits of what I can phisically do. I have learned what the saying "there are not enough hours in the day" really means. there really really isnt. This semester I am taking...drum roll please.... Anthropology, Psychology of gender and human sexuality, Biology, math, Criminal Law, and ASL 2. and if you havent noticed yes its a lot of classes but they are fun except Biology, my teacher is Dick Cheaney. no seriously, he talks, acts, walks, and even looks like Dick Cheaney. so needless to say its really hard to listen and take him seriously. School is going well though. not as well as I'd like it, its really easy to fall behind, but as soon as I catch up (which will be this week) then It will be fine.
What else is new you say? Well I have gotten a second job, I work for Vicky again, super excited about that. Friday nights and Sunday mornings at the Discovery Bay Yacht Club. lots of fun. lots of work. Last night was extremely busy and we ran out of steaks...so I think next friday is going to be just as busy and crazy. On wednesday's after work Im pretty much addicted to Project Runway. its a really fun show. (Where's Andrae?) haha, There's been some other stuff going on but nothing I really want to get into, especially publicly. the end for me.

WOW

2005-11-20T23:56:29Z

So The Nine Inch Nails Concert was last night. and Holy Shit was it good. Probably the best concert I have ever been to! I was sooo happy they played "Something I can never have" Its probably my favorite by them. There were a ton of people there, it was an interesting crowd, who went pretty crazy when they played "Closer" where everyone including myself started screaming "I want to fuck you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside" It was Such a cool show. They played Head like a Hole, Hurt, and pretty much all my favs off the new album too. It was thrilling. Trent Reznor is a fantasically talented person. I want his energy. Anywho, Im still coming off the high of excitement. AFI needs to start touring again. Im so already there.

bluecerts @ 2005-11-15T22:54:00

2005-11-16T06:56:45Z

I looked across my work desk and said to myself " dont worry john its just a dead body... its just "your" dead body..."

bluecerts @ 2005-08-28T21:26:00

2005-08-29T04:26:58Z

Today was a really good day. until tonight, I kinda want to throw up now.

Text message fiasco

2005-07-23T19:42:25Z

So this week has been an eventfull week. unfortunatly none of the events have been good. execpt Alkaline Trio, they were fantastic. but still not enough to overcome all the bad things. funny how wrong horoscopes can be... anywho. I got my hopes up earlier this week. only to have them crushed really hard...feels like the first time... its my fault though, I am a fool when it comes to that stuff. I just wish I could make things better. so all parties can be happy. including myself. I hate emotions. and yet again it seems to be depressing music day at work.

Im always second best it seems.

If you're happy, thats all that matters...

bluecerts @ 2005-07-16T23:32:00

2005-07-17T06:36:53Z

So Tonight was THE Worst Night in history...there was nothing redeeming about it. I hope my voice comes back tomorrow. screaming a really good song on the way home in the car does wonders for your vocal cords. Im sleeping in tomorrow. God Tonight was shitty. I feel like taking some ipekac. it might make me feel better...

Psycopharmacology

2005-06-30T04:42:37Z

the study of the effect of drugs on the mind and behavior...

very interesting...
sounds fun.

Not impressed?

2005-06-16T18:05:33Z

Maybe it would be better if I showed you my disappearing act.

bluecerts @ 2005-06-05T19:51:00

2005-06-06T02:58:58Z

I burried my childhood dog today, she crawled under the deck, where she layed down and passed away. It really sucks being the only one old enough and small enough to crawl under there and carry her out.. I miss her so much already. I didnt really think my heart could break anymore...

Yes Vanity, you look like every other smurf...

2005-05-28T15:17:29Z

So its saturday morning, and Im at work. its memorial day weekend, so no one is here Seriously I am the only one here. but my boss decided it would be a good thing for someone to be here in case people wanted to pick up their cars. Its a good Idea but that means Im here all by myself... until sales department gets here. God today is going to suck. 8 hours by myself in this stupid small office. but it is $10 an hour. So I guess I cant complain that much...

Well my sister finally had her baby...finally... and I have a new Niece. shes really small and cute. We went down to Kaiser and everything after my finals and saw her and I got to hold her and everything, her name is Rylee, and it was really funny because Casey (Rylee's older brother who is 1 yrs old) just wanted to climb in the little hospitial bed with my sister and Rylee.. of course we all know he wanted to beat on his little sister but that is besides the point. After we left the hospitial my mom and I went over to my sisters apartment and proceeded to Clean it from top to bottom. it was A LOT of work but we figured it would be nice for my sister to come home to a nice clean house with the new baby. we also got balloons and a big banner that said "Its A GIRL!" and flowers and all that stuff for her. Its funny because my mom has no idea why Im so nice to my sister, she used to torture me when I was little. I mean really torture, she used to stand on my head in the middle of the swimming pool and said she guessed how long I could stay under because she knew how long she could hold her breath...nice...thnks Kelly for all the lovely childhood memories. but thats okay Kids are dumb, and its water under the bridge. Plus she could use all the help she can get. anywho, Shes home now and everyone is doing fine, and now I have a new Niece and so goes the continuing adventure of life.

Star Wars was fuckin amazing. Im a big Starwars geek, not many people knew that about me but I am. James and I went and saw it at the midnight showing I was so excited. and I wasnt disappointed at all. the movie was awesome. eveyone says the acting was bad but come on you dont go see Starwars for the Acting. right? you go see it for the story, and fucking awesome lightsaber fights!

Speaking of James, he finished high school and got into this Summer music show thing. it sounds pretty cool. and Im really proud of him. even though he doesnt see finishing school as an acomplishment. Im still proud of him. im glad he's suceeding in his goals. and doing what he wants. I dont think he reads this anymore though... It doesnt matter though I guess. he knows I say stupid things when im tired and crazy. and Im sorry for that. but whats done is done, and I cant take anything back. not saying Id want to because its the truth, but I am blunt sometimes. and tend to screw everything up.

Lets see..what else is new? School is out, thank god, I dont know how much more I could have taken honestly this semester was horrible. but I think I did really good on the Finals, which makes me happy. Im going to mill my Humanities class, it was the best. I got my midterm back and even though it was a week late I still got an A. and a really nice note on it that said she really likes my writing and she really enjoyed reading my paper and my ideas on Hell and the Afterlife. She's super nice. So Finals are done. and I signed up for Fall Semester already, I know its going to be hard but at least I know what to expect. Im really glad im going to college.

Anywho thats about all. I can think of right now.

"I wish sometimes you would supprise me and prove me wrong, Im an empty human being all of a sudden" its going to be another lonely weekend.

No Exit

2005-05-01T18:07:38Z

I havent posted in forever, This Semester has really been kicking my ass, Throw in juggleing work, family, friends, and that is my life, Although I feel like I have failed on the friends front. No matter how much I really hate my job. I realize that I need it. I have so much school work before the end of the semester its unreal. 3 weeks left. I cant wait till the summer. I plan on doing mucho fun things.
Its something to look forward to.
This Summer is going to produce some really good movies that Im pretty excited to seeing.
I hate how everyone says that everything is going to be okay but the truth of the matter is that if they are not okay by now then Im pretty much convinced that things wont be okay for a while.
My mom is in the process of Addopting J.J. its a good thing, It'll be official in July.
I had a dream last night that we found my Sister dead in a park. We havent heard from her in 8 months. I just hope shes okay.
Well its Sunday morning. I slept in but Im still pretty exhausted. physicaly and emotionaly. I'll try to post more. but until then. I think I need something to be addicted to.

something to think about...

2005-03-01T00:18:19Z

I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

Perfectionism is the enemy of creation, as extreme self-solitude is the enemy of well-being,
--John Updike, Odd Jobs

"So happy valentines day"

2005-02-15T04:58:27Z

So today was Valentines day.
I baby sitted my nephews most of the day and I made chocolate covered Strawberrys with my sister, and little brothers.
I think it makes them so much more special that they are homemade.
(I hope you like them)

I really dont think Iv been this hurt on a holiday before. I think the hardest part was calling and cancelling the tickets I had reserved. I made them in September. They must have thought I was crazy making them so far in advance. Im so disappointed. It was going to be such a perfect day too. It was something I thought of and planned all by myself. Im not to good at planning things but I was so proud of myself because I know it was something you would have really loved. I was so excited that I was finally going to surpise you and spend the day doing something that no one would ever think of doing with you. you have no idea how excited I was to be able to keep this secret and to know that no matter how down and sad and depressed you were that this would truly make you happy. it would have been such a great memory to keep...
but you said no.
I couldnt get one day. even in a month in advance.
One day was all I asked. and it was flexaible.
It hurt so much that you wouldnt even consider spending the day with me. You didnt even know what the day consisted of. You wouldnt give me one day.
One fucking day.
"but obviously you are busy. to busy for me."
I keep trying and trying and trying to find time that we can hang. but it doesnt even seem like you care.

Happy Valentines day.

"He was elegance, walking arm in arm with a lie"

2005-01-18T03:47:20Z

Time to update.
This past week has had its ups and its downs, mostly downs but a few ups. Thrusday night was fun. I think I really needed it.
On friday I baby sitted with my sister for most of the day, Those little kids drive me crazy but no worries Im already crazy. After my mom got home I hung out for a few hours then had to go home because I didnt go home the night before and my dad would probably be looking for me. Im almost 19 and yet my independence is limited. Anywho my sister came over for dinner that night and we had a nice dinner.
On Saturday I had to wake up at a normal 5:30 to get ready for work. then I went to work and spent 8 hours doing basically nothing, I got the tv to work in the waiting room but other than that. its pointless. I dont even know why we are open on saturdays. I shouldnt complain though, if we were closed then I would be out of the job. After work I made the long journey down to Santa Maria, Saw the most beautiful sunset. Pink sky layered with clouds, over the rolling hills, fading little by little into darkness. It was a sad sunset I thought. I got down there at around 8, I was starving. I ate. and we (Me, Katie, Elyse) went and stole Shara and proceeded to the doughnut shop for "donut time" and we sat and talked and caught up. Got to meet all the people that are important to them learn why their worth is so much. didnt get to bed till 4am.
On Sunday I work up at 8, yes 4 hours of sleep. and helped Katie move from Elyse's house to her permanent residence down in Santa Maria. Then caught up with Shara and this girl named Alicia who is really nice and we went to Pismo Beach, Sunday was really sunny and warm. needless to say all the clothes I brought were winterish clothes. Any who. we walked the Pier and I looked deep into the heart of the ocean. I asked it its secrets. And realized that you have to be pretty special to stand out in this world. And before you make your great strive to Change it. look around you and see the little impressions you make on the world, and look deeper to see how the world has changed you. Thankyou Ocean for your secrets.
After Pismo we went and saw Finding Neverland, where I proceeded to bawl towards the end because damit its sad. We got Ice cream to make ourselves feel better. and back to Elyse's to watch the Golden Globes. I fell asleep. oh well. that night we Went to a party, it was alright. to much smoke though. wasnt my scene.
This morning I awoke and got ready to leave, I promised Katie that I would see her at her new job before I left. so Off to the cafe for breakfast. then It was time to return to life.
Driving home I past the beach and looked into the heart of the world again, The ocean. One last time before returning back to my life. I really didnt see much this time. I guess you have to be up close and appreciate the details sometimes instead of the big picture.

About a half an hour away from the ocean and away from Pismo my tire blows out and I almost lose control of the car.

Chapter 18 : The fallen child and shallow waters.

Even thought I didnt I can see myself getting hit from behind and the car rolls uncontrollably thrashing me inside, the air bags deploy, and I am pinned. I see my reflection, shattered in the window glass, I climb out and fall onto the grassy devide. and stare up into the sky. The same sky that Summer sees everyday, The same sky that when it brings rain also shapes the smile on James's face. The same sky that reflects the oceans surface, and in itself holds an ocean of wind, and stars. I can see those stars through time. And I close my eyes and think that life is a ripple in the water, short, precious, beautiful but no ripple can stretch the length of the ocean. There is so much depth and so many secrets, yet we can live without knowing whats beyond our right of living.

The Oceans depth is amazing
But the sky is forever

I thought a lot about where my life is going, and What I really want. and realized that it is the secret of life. Everyone wants to know the answer but only you can create it.
I dont think Iv ever been closer to figuring out what I want to do in life, I also think I havent been any further away from achieving it.

To be continued?...

by the way if you were wondering. I think I closed that chapter in life. Time for another.

The ChP came and helped me put on my temporary spare and get back on the road. I cant help but think that maybe it was a sign. maybe that even though set backs are inevitable. Find some help and keep Driveing.

Im glad to be home.
But its time to Start Driving again.

I Wonder how many times I can say Im sorry....

2005-01-13T02:48:59Z

A few more I hope, If I get the chance...

ick

2004-12-07T06:37:12Z

wow I have never felt more dead then I do right now...

"How rich in contrast love can be"

2004-11-28T20:13:44Z

Havent updated in a while: dont really care

So continues the ongoing plesent struggle of life, its not so bad although some may see it as a horrible position I am in but I dont. I found a new job, I work at Diablo Lincoln, Mercury, Audi on Saturdays. I dont like it there. Most the people are nice, but the boss I think does not like me, and I dont want to work for someone who doesnt like me. So im in a job hunt again...It shouldnt take me too long to find a job, if I apply myself.

School is going alright, not as good as I'd like it to be, but not to bad. I need to work on my final push to raise my grades a little but Im happy im passing everything. The other week I lost my $60 Political Science book, and had to buy another one. I went online and found a used one for $8....Thankyou Internet. My drama class has been disapointing, the instructor has good information sometimes but all it seems we do in there is sit and listen to him talk, most of the time its about nothing important. I like my Polsci class though its fun and discussion filled. English is English I have a 10 page paper due soon on how religious beliefs negativily affect political policies. It should be fun...Enough about school.

My free time has consisted of spending time helping my mom and family, hanging out with some of the funnest people. and living my life regret free. A few weeks ago something Great happened and I am working my way back to happieness...
Last Night was a Mucho Fun night, I spent it with two Awesome people which included a really good movie, sandwhich, a really bad movie, and hanging out. I had a lot of fun and I thankyou :)

So my new thing is buying things off ebay. that is where I got my political science book and a poster and Toy Story on DVD and who knows what I will get next! maybe spending money where you only have a job one day a week is not a good thing...need to fix that.

I have seen: the Incredibles, Kinsey, Trainspotting, Velvet Goldmine...and many others.

Its time for Christmas again... it is always hard to shop for people..I need to think of good gift Ideas..hmmm. I dont know whatever.
time for a nice hot shower.

Bad News

2004-10-10T01:31:41Z

Crap...this isnt good

I think he thought I forgot what today was...

2004-09-13T04:29:29Z

A year ago today. I tumbled down a rabbit hole, confused and lost. I found hope in the things around me. Through friends and foes. I found my way through this wonderland of life grateful for everything that I've learned. I've learned from my mistakes. and kept all my body parts intact. with experiences that I'll never forget, and I hope you wont either. cause even though a few months ago the dream ended. Im still in Wonderland with you.

I thought you would have understood a little more.

....

2004-08-11T04:30:24Z

Such a depressing movie,
really sad when you can identify with the character and what they feel. and how they themselves share the same fear that you have...
the confusion
the friendships.
the love...'its just love'
I wish she would have come back..that way I would know he wouldnt be alone.

Ode to the fam...

2004-08-04T01:29:53Z

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find I kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world

"shut the window love, keep the world outside"

2004-07-20T04:33:33Z

I never know how to start an entry, maybe thats why I never post...

I wish I knew where my life is leading me. there isnt much to smile about anymore. it seems that a lot of the good things that happen always end with me driving home and wondering what happened. then a song comes on and I turn into this big emotional mess.
Iv been visiting my mom quite a lot this summer. its nice to be home once and a while. she's helping me out by paying me for work that I do around the house. I would do it anyways but she insists.
I just dont make enough money for all the bills my dad is making me pay for. he says...
"Im hitting you with the real world. you pay for bills before you pay for school..."
then he complains that Im not home enough, and I get guilt lectures from my grandma on how lucky I am....for basically that he doesnt beat me. or kick me out as long as I pay my bills. I dont listen anymore.
I miss living with my mom. but I cant go back.
I wish I could spend more time with my friends. I need to. I miss them. alot.
I get out days with Sum. that makes me happy.
I miss playing. I wish I was better friends with some people. where if they were borred they would call me.
I need to stop talking on my cell phone much till next month... the bill is has killed me.
My grandparents dog had to be put to sleep. she was one of the best dogs ever...
maybe thats why I feel like Im loosing my friends. I cant deal.
I cry alot for something I did. I know its not my fault but its hurting me more than I let on....everything is hurting me more than I let on. Im sorry. its draining me. life is draining me. and I dont know how to deal with it. I need a job. I need security. and I just need to start my heart again. take a deep breath and cry some more...

Anti-War, Anti-Bush

2004-06-29T21:26:11Z

I recomend the movie by Michael Moore, "Fahrenhiet 9/11" some may say that it is a propaganda for the democratic party in order to try and regain control of the white house...but its more than that. In Michael Moores exploration of the Bush administration and the currupton of the white house it clearly shows that the war with Iraq was not a nessessary war in which the United states needed to be involved. Richard Clark head of the Anti terrorist task force of the bush administration says on a news broadcast that the Bush Administration had plans to invade Iraq even before the events of 9/11. and the President was preasuring them to find a link betweek Al-Queda and Iraqi regime.
When the United states went into Afganistan to capture bin laden and bring him to Justice it took the Bush Administration 2 months to get troop there. and we only sent 11,000 soldigers. there are more police officers in Manhatten NY.
the Sheer information that the companies in which Bush and Bush Senior, and Chainey were/are extremely financialy involved in are the companies that are benefitting from the war. the fact that saudi Arabia has so much money in the United states economy that it represents 7% of america is frightening.
The carlyle Group which Bush senior is an advisor for, and the Bin lauden family is an investor is the owner of United defence. the main company that is producing the UNITED STATES WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. and the same company whos total stock rose to over $200 million dollars in one day. in hopes to make all the money back in oil profits from Iraq.
Is this war really about the Iraqi people. or is it the Bush Administration search for money, oil, and personal vendeta against Sadam.
and remember American soldiers are being slaughtered in this generations Vietnam.